Let’s talk about this thing called life.

When i was younger my dad was in a car accident while working that was pretty bad. His car flipped over a few times, flipped over some railroad tracks and landed wheels up.  Luckily he was just a little banged up and all I can really remember was seeing him with a neck brace on.  Being as young as I was, I didn’t understand the severity of what could have came from that accident.

In 2013 I saw first hand what alcohol can do to someone when my uncle passed away from cirrhosis. It sucked seeing someone who was such a strong person slowly deteriorate.

Around last year, one of my mom’s had a slight heart attack.  That was one of the first times in my life that I was truly scared about losing someone close to me.  Thankfully nothing serious came from it and now she is back to being her old grouchy self again lol.

Now lets fast forward to a few weeks ago.  My sister called me saying that my biological mom was in the hospital due to excessive bleeding. Side note, my mom has not been to a doctor/hospital in about 33 years.  Yes, 33 years is not a misprint.  Anyways, so my sister and some other family members convinced my mom to get a biopsy even though she is scared shitless of doctors.

Last week again my sister called me, and informed me that it was stage 2 uterine cancer.  Now a part of me was saying “fuck, it’s cancer”.  Then another part of me was saying “well it is uterine so an operation and chemo should kill it”.   But here is the thing.  My mom and stepdad do not really believe in pharmaceutical drugs and crap like that, they lean more towards the natural b.s..

So I just sat there thinking to myself. Is she going to take the advice from the doctors or is she going to just try some natural bs that probably wont work?  But as I sat there, now with tears in my eyes, I said, well who am I to judge.  She can do what she wants because it’s her life. I understand that some may find that disheartening, but if I was sick, I wouldn’t want people telling me what to do.

This I believe is where my sister and I are going to butt heads.  I have told my mother that i will support her in any decision that she makes. Mind you, ANY DECISION THAT SHE MAKES, not what my sister wants or what my stepdad wants.  My sister on the other hand wants my mother to do all she can to get healthy and I agree with her.  But you can’t force someone to go through chemo, or radiation, or take pills the rest of their life if they don’t want to. I feel it would be selfish of me to tell you what to do.

I did go to Missouri a few days ago to see my mom and sister.  I went not only because it had been a few years since i’ve seen my mom but also because i wanted to tell her to her face that I support whatever she does and that I love her.  I also went up there to try to convince her that my sister needs to be her power of attorney and not my stepdad.  Now this is NOT meant as a slap in the face to my stepdad.  He is a truck driver and it could take him up to 48 hours to get back home.   If something were to happen to my mom, I wouldn’t want them to try to get a hold of him and him not answer his phone or can’t come back right away.  Leaving my sister there helpless. I also wanted to try to get my mom to let us know what she wants done funeral wise. Unfortunately my mom thinks that we are trying to put her in her grave already and of course that is not the case. I just want everything in writing so my sister and my stepdad don’t end up fighting over her wishes if she tells him one thing and tells us another.

Because my sister lives in Missouri, just 40 minutes away from my mom, I give her total respect and love for taking on this responsibility of caring for our mom.  I could move up there and help her but i think that would do more harm than good. My sister has lived with my mom since she was born and knows how to deal with my mom, unlike myself who hasn’t lived with her since i was 7.  My mother is set in her ways and my sister is used to it, whereas I am not.

My mom has agreed to have the operation, but the chemo/radiation will be the big obstacle.  Now we just have to wait and see…

We interrupt this program….

Originally written in 2012, updated 2016.

I was driving past a group of school students today and it occurred to me how screwed up our society is.  Our generation (X)  is to blame..why?  Lets think about this.   18 years ago i graduated high school.  Our generation started the baggy pants hangin off our ass look.  We had the “gangster” movies, such as Menace to Society, Boyz  in the Hood, Colors, Reservoir Dogs, south central…etc.  NWA was saying ” Fuck the Police”  We heard Ice T scream ” Cop Killer”, who ironically played a cop on NBC.  Ice Cube was  preaching “I didn’t even have to use my A-K, Today was a good day”.  Now he stars in Disney movies. Tupac and Snoop said ” ain’t  nothin but a gangsta party”.  Tupac is dead and Snoop doesn’t really do much of anything.

Rap music hasn’t changed in the past 18 years….it’s the same shit just recycled.  You can rap about ass, titties, bitches and what not for only so long.  Music today is garbage.  Freddie Mercury wrote “Bohemian Rhapsody” by himself.  Then you look at “Run the World (Girls)” by Beyonce and it list Adidja Palmer, Beyoncé Knowles, David Taylor, Nick van de Wall, Shea Taylor,Terius Nash and Wesley Pentz as co-writers.  Why the hell does it take 7 people to write a 4 minute song?

When I was in Junior High, the internet was just getting started. Of course, not the internet of today.  No social media. No music downloads.  No buying things online.  If we needed to look up something for school we had to go to the library and get a book.  We didn’t have Google to answer every question for us.  Kids today wouldn’t know how to use an index, or what it’s like to use a paper bag as a book cover.

Those 9, 10, 11 year olds i saw today are carbon copies of who we were 18 years ago.  Only now it’s our fault they can’t write, read, or talk properly.  I know that i don’t always use proper English or that i might use slang in my writings,  but when i am around kids, i do try to use proper English.  When did our generation get lazy with raising kids?  Growing up, if someone’s mom came out yelling you knew damn well every one of us was going to get yelled at.  That’s not the case today though. The government has put the power in the kids hands, however some parents think their kids can do no wrong.  “Not my baby, he/she knows better”.  yada yada yada.  It’s like we want the schools to babysit the students but when it comes time for the schools to be the “parent” and discipline the students, all hell breaks loose.  We are seeing this now with the entitlement generation.  Instead of laughing at how the prior generations did things, they are trying to change our history so they don’t get offended.  Schools can’t give out Ds or Fs because it will make the kid feel stupid…no shit, that’s the point.  It’s letting you know you need to buckle down.  Can’t play tag at recess because you’re not suppose to touch someone without their permission.  All kids get an award in sports even if they lose, can’t ruin their self esteem. Just yesterday I read a story on how you are not supposed to make your child hug a family member if they don’t want to, because it sends them a message that it’s ok for someone to touch them even if they don’t like it.  Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit.  If I see my nieces or nephews come in the house without giving my parents a kiss or hug hello,  I yell at them.   It’s called respecting your elders.

All we are doing is setting our kids up for failure when they reach society and realize they are stupid and they are not always going to get praised for coming in second.  These are the same kids who are going to end up shooting up people because they didn’t get their way and they can’t handle the pressure or rejection.

As for the current Entitlement generation, we need to stop allowing them to change history.  Here’s the thing though, we made them who they are. We gave in to them, when really a simple no would have worked.  Now you have a bunch of young adults who want everything for free or want things exactly how they want it, with no chance of a compromise.   This is one reason why Bernie Sanders is so popular with the youth.  They want free college and $15 minimum wage, and they don’t care that you have to rob Peter to pay Paul.  They don’t understand that Peter is going to go broke one day because you sucked his wallet dry.

Our country was built on the strength of each generation learning from the prior’s mistakes, and building off of it.  That’s not the case anymore.  These kids today are going to be the ones that we are going to have to rely on to care for us when we become seniors.  To be honest, that’s scary.

11/29/2014

Senioritis has hit me.  With just 5 classes left for my Masters, I’ve hit that “i don’t give a fuck” mentality…not good.  Anyways, now I sit here in Starbucks listening to Slipknot’s The Heretic Anthem (if you’re 555 then I’m 666) while completing a paper for school.  Speaking of Slipknot, I was finally able to see them in concert along with Kings 810 and Korn.

Moline, IL
Moline, IL

Korn fkn killed it, Kings was..eeh.  I couldn’t believe the amount of skinheads or wannabe skinheads that were at the concert.  I suppose that’s to be expected, but I didn’t realize we had so many in our area.  Being a 270lb mexican surrounded buy bald white guys, I kinda stood out.  That’s the great thing about music though, it can bring people from all demographics together.

So while sitting here at Starbucks, there have been a few parents come in with their kids.  The parents are bundled up with coats while the kids are coming in just wearing tshirts.  Mind you it’s 53 degrees and not in the 70s.  I fkn hate when parents don’t care what their kids are wearing.  I don’t have kids, but if i did, little jimmy wouldn’t be wearing fkn shorts in 30 degree weather.

The other thing that pisses me off is when parents give in to their kids or argues with their kids.  I was at Kmart last night, and this little girl around 12 was bitching  cause her mom wanted her to try on some shoes.  The mom was damn near yelling at her to try on the shoes, but the kid kept walking away.  Now I get it…it’s Kmart and i imagine it holds the same stigma now as it did when i was a kid. (Your mom shops at kmart)  Another kid was screaming and screaming LOUD for this damn toy.  Instead of taking the kid to the restroom and laying down the law, this mom said “uuugh, fine here just take it”.  I literally looked like Kat Williams in this pic and said “that bitch, is why it’s not your kids fault he is a brat.”kattwilliams

I know people will say that I can’t complain since I don’t have kids and I don’t know how hard it is to be a parent.  Believe me, I do understand that..however i’m not a mechanic but I still know you should get your oil changed around 3000 miles.

Let’s talk about Black Friday for a minute. This year BF was bullshit.  First off, shitty ass Directv took $200 from my account due to their system screwing up, so i as out that money.  Second, where in the hell were the savings?  The funny part is some people really thought they were getting a deal due to word play.  Example…1 candle is $10.  But today for BF you can get 2 candles for $30 with a $10 mail in coupon.  lol wtf?  Or, buy 2 games get 1 free…that’s awesome till you see the games are like 5 years old lol.  Another thing is when Wallyworld has a line for items and bitchass people want to sneak up to the front of the line with only a few minutes left.  I had that happen when I was in line over an hour for the xbox 360 $99 deal for my niece.  About 2 minutes before they released them, a group of 6 came to the front of the line, but not actually in the line.  Anyways, they slowly started to try to cut.  People around me were complaining under their breaths about “I dont know why the sales person doesn’t say anything, they see them”, “This is bullshit”, “I waited and if I don’t get one….”  Whereas my big mouth yells out “YALL NEED TO TIGHTEN UP THIS MOTHERFUCKIN LINE AND NOT LET THESE MOTHERFUCKERS CUT”.  The lady behind me said “thank you so much for saying something…I was going to but-” But nothing lady, you would have just bitched about not getting one and went about your night.  It’s funny how white people don’t want to say anything about a black person cutting in line.  Me, I don’t care if you’re white, black, green, or purple.  You cut in front of me and my $99 xbox 360, you bout to get dealt with.

I love my job, but i love money even more.  I don’t know how much longer I can do this with the current amount I’m making.  I made about $8000 more when I worked at CADS.  Granted I don’t deal with as much bs as I did there but damn $8000 is a lot.  The best thing about working at my job is dealing with the kids.  Being able to show them some kind of guidance is rewarding.  With that being said though,  money pays the bills.

….how bout that Bill Cosby