Eat a bowl of dicks, two scoops.

Well this is the end of 2015 and it’s time for my “Eat a bowl of dicks, two scoops” list.

5.  My chicago bears.  Talk about a goddamn wasted season.  The Bears will not win a Superbowl with Cutler, just as the Bulls will not win the NBA title with Rose.

4.  The word “racist”.  Just because I agree with the court system when they find someone guilty or not guilty when that person is of another race, that does not make me a racist.  It makes me someone who has faith in our judicial system.  Also, a black serving on the jury who convicts another black does not make them an Uncle Tom.  It shows that they looked at the evidence and were smart enough to put their personal views to the back.

3. ISIS. You don’t have to blow up shit to scare people, just make threats and schools or business’s will close for the day.  Aslo Stupid ass people who think its funny to call in these bomb threats or shootings as a prank.

2. Black Lives Matter.  See prior blog posting.

1. Me…  Yes, I included myself in this award due to the fact that I screwed up some pretty good things that I had this year. An old supervisor once told me that i have to learn to let shit go over my head and not take shit personally.  A few times this year, I had something good that i let slip away because of my own ignorance.  Well, lesson learned.  Remember this though, if you burn bridges, you can always take a boat.

Totally off subject, this is how bored I am at starbucks.  Here is my star wars Finn subliminal message.  So im sitting here in starbucks thinking about starwars. Anyways, I was just looking at Finn’s name in Starwars, FN2187. 187 is the california code for murder. FN I read as finna as in “im finna write some dumb shit”. 2, is obviously to. So if we slang up finna to just fin, then we have fin to (da) murder. Fin da murder. Even in a galaxy far far away we still stereotyping blacks. lol Mind blown and im drinking too much caffeine.

 

1/1/2015

2015, one year closer to death.  For the first time in about 13 years, I stayed home.  It was actually nice just sitting there with my wifey, knowing that after the ball dropped, I could go lay in my own bed instead of driving home.  So what’s my new years resolution?  Not a goddamn thing.  Why disappoint myself? I want to lose weight, but I know that doing a resolution isn’t going to shed these pounds.  I want a higher paying job but I know that their are millions of people everyday looking for a job.

Christmas was nice.  I gave my wifey money for after xmas sales,which she took full advantage off.  We went to her parents house along with my sisters and my parents.  My wife bought me a tattoo gift certificate which i’ll be using Jan 7 for this awesome sauce. Clown from slipknot.  10881425_10152924732574326_1621503281_n

On Dec 23rd, I took my dad to the Blackhawks game for his xmas present, surprised him with row 1 seats.  10881876_10152914591809326_6209723402504674191_n As you can see, I wore my Blackhawks Lucha Libre mask.  I get a kick out of people coming up and asking for pics.  It was our first and last time along the glass.  Don’t get me wrong, they are awesome seats, but true fans sit in the 300 section.  Granted, if I win the lottery, you bet your ass i’ll be front row lol.  I got them because I didn’t want to regret not getting them someday.  I mean, my grandpa is 76 years old right now and I wonder if there are things that my dad regrets not being able to do with him now because of his age.  I didn’t want that for me.  So, one day I woke up and told my wifey, I’m getting my dad and I row 1 tickets.  The tickets were crazy expensive but memories are priceless.

I’m sitting here in my usual typing spot, Starbucks.  The girl doing my drink was asking me some questions about my two week vacation, for some reason she remembered. Anyways there was a lady behind me who chimed in about how she is retired and if you are bored, its your own fault.  I was like..bitch, da fuq, nobody was talkin to you. Yes, I said da fuq, which for those unfamiliar with slang is “the fuck”.  Stay in your own lane lady.

Watched the Winter Classic today with my uncle, dad and grandpa.  Hawks lost it via a goal in the last minute.  O’well, can’t win them all.  Plus when you go 1 for 6 on the powerplay, you deserve to lose.  Just shoot the damn puck towards the goal.  Anyone can coach from their couch though.

Do you guys remember the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”?  When the fuck did that get thrown out the window?  There was just another case of a kid who killed himself because he was being called names. My little niece has a mind of her own and i fkn love it, some other kids may think its weird or whatever.  I told her straight up, “if someone calls you a name, tell them to fuck off.  Go ahead, uncle robert will take the blame”.  I told her “don’t be a follower, be a leader”.  It’s true though, kids fell like they have to fit in all the time.  Think about this.  Remember growing up and someone would say “why can’t you be more like (insert name)?”  Look, it’s that shit right there that gives kids the idea that they have to meet a certain guideline on how to act.  Lets look at Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitts daughter, Shiloh.  Kid is 8 years old, wants to be called John and some people are in an uproar over it.  Get the fuck out of here.  If that kid wanted to be called Scooby fucking Doo, who are you to question it?  If people just minded their own goddamn business and stop worrying about what others are doing then maybe we wouldn’t have the problems we have.

Eat a Bowl of Dicks Award goes to … Al Sharpton.  Sharpton has more than $4.5 million in current state and federal tax liens against him and his businesses. How in the hell is he not in jail yet?  Does Obama have him on a leash that damn tight.  Plus this dick is a race baiter who got those two officers killed in New York.  The good Lord needs to do right and put Al and Jesse out to pasture.

I was reading a dumb article about how Back to the Future 2 got some things wrong about 2015.  Well no shit, it was a goddamn movie made in 1989.   Another thing is, how are you going to write about what they got wrong in 2015 when we are only a day into 2015.  Save the damn article for 2016.  I don’t blame the writer, I blame the one thinking it was okay to print it.

This 22 year old guy created a website called Skiplagged.com and is now being sued by a few airline companies.  Even bad publicity is good publicity.  This guy did nothing wrong with his site and made no salary/commission from it.  It’s actually a smart idea.  Lets say you live in new york and want to go to Chicago.  The ticket maybe is $700.  However if you put you want to go to Arizona with a layover in chicago, it will cost $550. This site will tell you that there is a layover.  So, just get off in chicago and don’t connect to Arizona.  I mean, its common sense but these guys are pissed about it.

The Stupid Mother Fkr Award goes to… All the parents that complained about this.  playdoh  You know what you saw, a dong.  Know what your kids saw, a fkn play doh dispenser.  Come on people, why must we over sexualize every goddamn thing? No kid opened up this package and thought, “well damn I just got a dildo for xmas”.

I jumped on the bandwagon and bought a turntable.  I’ve never owned one, but goddamn does vinyl sound good.  I understand the ease of having a cd or mp3, but it just seems that with vinyl, you hear what is meant to be heard. If that makes sense.  I purchased Slipknot, Dire Straits, Santana, Wu Tang, Outkast, and Saturday Night Fever soundtrack.

Alright, I’m done for now.  Remember, don’t let a hot date become a due date.