1/4/15

Mother Nature has a sense of humor. It was warm enough yesterday to not have to wear a winter coat, but then this crap. 7dayFULL I hate living in the Midwest with a passion.  I want to go back to TX but hell, even they are getting snow.  The bad thing about it snowing, just as it is now, is that people want to drive like fkn idiots.  There are three rules to remember when driving in snow. 1) Dont get hit. 2) Dont hit someone else. 3) Drive.  Some people want to drive like they are tip toeing into the kitchen at midnight.  I’m all for being safe of course, but damn if you don’t go you’re going to get stuck.

Stuart Scott passed away today.  I was never a fan of his really, but he was a good personality for ESPN. Glad that he was able to make it through the holidays for his daughters.

10891459_10152947488434326_7544235468520997051_nBack to this bullshit snow.  I look out of this Starbucks window thinking, why the fk am I here and not in the comfort of my bed? And of all the bullshit things I buy, why haven’t I bought a car starter?  It is nice though being here and not having anyone around me.  Just me, Venti pumpkin spice latte and Dido.

didobioI played Dido’s CD nonstop when I was overseas.  I remember my tent mate yelling at me to shut it off cause I played it so much.  This would be played in my tent and Outkast would be playing everywhere else.  At post..outkast.  On our way to Kuwait City..outkast.  Chowhall..Outkast.  They had a song, “Bombs Over Baghdad” that the Kuwait’s would dance to.  One of the Kuwait Officers heard me play it, reached in his shirt and pulled out a cross necklace.  He kept saying “SEE, I’M CHRISTMAS, I’M CHRISTMAS!”  I said you mean Christian.  “YES, CHRISTMAS!”  Okay then. lol

I go back to work tomorrow, after a 2 week vacation.  Honestly, I don’t want to go back. Not because of the kids, I love them and their craziness.  But because I don’t get paid shit really for all the stress we have.  I know, something is better than nothing but I could seriously go work at Aldi’s and bag groceries and make more than what I do now. I’m hoping to get a phone call tomorrow with some good news that will better this situation.

Break Free by Ruby Rose= beautiful song, check her out.

Let me ask a question.  In life, your main objective is to have kids and pass on that bloodline.  What if you can’t have kids?  Then what is the meaning to life?  You wake up, eat, shit, work, sleep, repeat.  You really don’t have a purpose anymore.  The bloodline stops with you.  If you were fortunate enough, your parents tried to raise you in a way in which you will be a great parent to your own kids and pass on traditions. I think about all the things I was able to give my parents, everything but a grandchild.  When my sister got pregnant at 15, I had some animosity toward her kid.  You mean to tell me God will give a kid to a 15 year old girl, but not two adults who have good jobs, are caring, and want kids?  I think that’s why my belief in God is so null.  I believe Jesus was a man who did walk this Earth. I don’t believe the miracle stuff though.  I’m just not buying the whole God created man and the universe shit.  Maybe it’s the fact that I had to go to a Catholic School and the shit was stuffed down my throat, that now I’m like eh.

Well folks I think its time for me to go.  There is a creepy dude sitting across the room staring at me like he wants my nuts.

6/17/14

ImageWell shit….yep that’s how I feel.  Today sucked ass.  Why?  I don’t know, it just did.  I did have fun with my wifey tonight since we went to see 22 Jump Street which was very funny.  I was able to talk to a past client yesterday.  Wont give her name, but she is a pretty cool chick.  She thanked me for helping her during her rehabilitation by being someone she could talk to.  She told me that I was one of the reasons she was now sober.  I told her that she did not need to thank me, she is sober cause she chooses to be, I can’t take credit for that.  Im tired right now, not just physically, but mentally.  I complain about my back and how the VA sucks ass, but then I take a step back and think about all my “brothers and sisters” who are coming back from the war missing limbs or are mentally unfit to return to civilian life and realize that someone will always have it worse than you.  I hate the Midwest with a passion. This is probably a safe place cause I know terrorist wouldn’t waste a bomb on this shit hole.  I want to move to TX but my family is here. Every time I think of moving I start to think about my dad.  We wouldn’t be able to go to Hawk games like we do now if I moved. Then again, he and my mom would be able to come visit in awesome weather in TX when it snows here.  Plus I have all my little nieces and nephews that I want to see grow up.  I’m the oldest child so I didn’t have any other kids to play with like they do.  Nope it was just me until my sisters Jamie and Kali came along.  

6/16/14

This morning I went with my dad to “play” golf.  He took it back to 1986 and spanked my ass.  That’s ok though, I’ll get better.  Just wish I hadn’t waited till I was 35 to try to start.  Anyways, A friend of mind lost her sister last night to a car accident.  I really feel bad for her even though I haven’t seen her in about 11 years.  She is a military friend, and the thing with military friends is that you will have them till the day you die.  I have about 6 people that I was stationed with that I still talk to.  I can call any of them up and it would be as if we just talked a week ago.  I told my cousin whom just join the Marines, that he needs to take it all in and the friends he makes today will be in his life 20 years from now, god willing of course.  Still no job yet, which is why I am sitting here in Starbucks.  Sucks…really sucks.  I do have an interview tomorrow though at a disability center.  I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch so we’ll just see how it goes.