Things on my Mind 5/19/16

I just left the chiropractor’s office after getting adjusted and really, I don’t feel a difference.  I understand that fixing a 16 year problem will not happen over night or in my case, four times, but just a little relief would be nice.  I do feel a little better about 10 minutes after the fact, but then it’s back to pain.  The VA said that I probably need surgery but they will not pay for it until i get into my 50’s.  They said i’m too young (36) right now to have to go through that.  I call bullshit, but then again ,it’s the VA and the shit they feed you has to be taken with a grain of salt.

Graduation is tomorrow and I’m both excited and worried.  Excited because i can finally say that I have a master’s degree but worried because I know that those student loans are going to be a bitch to repay back. Putting out resumes is kind of like fishing.  You throw out a hook and hope that the big one bites.  Unfortunately, sometimes it’s just a minnow.  Now granted, when you’ve been fishing all day, even a minnow can make you excited. Well, for as many resumes I have put out there, I’m beginning to think that the pond needs to be restocked.  I really can’t put all the blame on the pond of course, sometimes when you catch a decent sized fish, you throw it back, hoping for a bigger one.  That is my problem.  I’ve had a few good jobs, one that paid crazy good, yet I through it all away hoping for something better.  This of course does not look good on a resume.  Here’s the thing, I don’t leave a job for the sake of just being bored and leaving, but the jobs that i have had, have been physical and right now in my current condition, I just can’t do those types of jobs anymore.

Late last night/ early this morning there was a plane that was flying from Paris to Egypt that went missing from radar.  Trump tweeted out that it was terror related and of course the twitter police (Hillary and Bernie supporters) all tweeted how he was jumping the gun.  Funny thing though, this morning the Egyptian president said that it was terror related. So yeah, jumping the gun wasn’t so far fetched was it.

Banks have to be the biggest ripoffs.  I’ll use my bank as an example.  If I have $50 in my account and my kohls automatic bill pay is $55, my back will pay it, putting my account        -$5.  On top of that, they will charge me $27 for ISF which will bring it to -$32. Now lets say walmart automatic bill pay is $40.  Because my account is in the red, they will not pay it obviously.  However, they will still charge me $27 for ISF even though they will not pay it.  That leads it to -$59 in my account.  Walmart doesn’t know that there is no money, just that the payment didn’t go through, so they try it again.  And again the bank rejects it and tacks on another $27 for ISF. So now my original -$5 is -$86 all thanks to ISF fees.  Of course people will say that it is my own fault for not having the money in there, and yes, that is true, but life happens and sometimes you go through a rough patch.

Sitting here at Starbucks, I looked out the window and just saw a guy drop his food on the ground, look around, picked it up and put it in his mouth. 5 second rule I suppose.  But yeah, i’m not eating something that feel on the ground outside where people sit and possible have shit on their shoes.

I have more to talk about, but I just hit a writing wall.

Having my Dale Earnhardt Sr. moment.

Just as Earnhardt was so close to winning the Daytona 500 with only 3 laps to go before hitting a wall, I too have hit a wall. I’m in my last class for my Master’s and can’t get past this writer’s block.

I’m doing my paper on the connection of PTSD and Veteran suicide.  I have my usual writing supplies, a venti cool lime refresher from Starbucks and Ottmar Liebert’s “Waiting 4 the Stars 2 Fall” playing on continuous loop.  Ottmar Liebert is my go to guy for paper writing.  When I was younger, my dad bought his CD after hearing him on the Weather Channel.  How funny is that, getting music from the Weather Channel.

This song is beautiful.  What’s more awesome is how much is sounds like “Camilla” from Art of Noise.  I don’t know if it was supposed to be similar but I like it.

Well, I guess i’ll suck it up and just start typing some on this paper.

Made you look!

Today sucks balls.  I have that “i don’t give a shit” attitude right now and I know that’s not good.

First issue of the day, let’s talk about school.  I have one class left for my masters degree.  Guess who ran out of financial aid money?  This guy.  So not only do I have to pay uncle sam back for this bs degree, but now i have to pay out of pocket for my last class.  I damn near begged my school for a scholarship, but they weren’t having it.  Basically it’s shit in one hand, wish in the other.  I have no idea what i’m going to do with this degree other than hang the paper on the wall next to my bachelors.

So here I am, creating a  gofundme account for $1700 bucks to help pay for my last term and not a single donation.  (Mind you, i’m not working right now and only get my military disability as income, and i deleted that go fund me account).  Yet, this arrogant fuck, Kanye West can whine that he is $53 million in debt and some ass tard sets him up a go fund me and it reached a little over $8000 as of this writing.  Society has their priorities fucked.

comfort_Rheem_BillboardSpeaking of school, for my class I just had, I had to make a bullshit marketing billboard that dealt with suicide awareness and come up with a name for it. I felt this assignment was a joke, so i treated it as such.

 

 

 

Second issue of the day is the damn TSA. I’m still waiting on a response from them on if I’ll be able to move on to the next step of the job qualifications.  They had to put my medical on hold due to my diabetes.  They said i had to get a pass from my doctor saying that i was in ok health with diabetes.  My doctor passed me and now i’ve been waiting for a month to find out the results from TSA.  I understand that with it being a federal job, it’s going to be hurry up and wait like the military was.

Third issue of the day.  I spoke to my dad again yesterday about the possibility of moving to TX.  He said “well son, you have to do what you have to do”.  That’s the problem, if i did what i had to do, I would have robbed a fkn bank already…can’t pay the bills with monopoly money.  As much as i talk about wanting to move to TX, the big problem I have is that I have so many relatives that are getting up there in age, I don’t want to get a phone call saying one passed, then having to come up with funds to fly back here.  This leads me to my fourth issue of the day.

Fourth issue of the day.  Death is inevitable. I was at my aunt’s house last night where my grandparents live.  While there, my grandpa said something to my aunt that really struck a chord with me.  I won’t say what is was, but it further cemented the truth that people are only here for certain amout of time…then poof you’re gone.  It would be nice to have people in your life forever, but physically it’s not possible.  Of course you can be hooked up to a machine and let it live for you,but it’s just a body, not a person.  Its funny that here i am worried about how I or my family is going to be when other people in our family passes, when after I write this blog, I could get into a head on collision and….