A letter to my unborn child.

Dear ***********

Your mother is in the living room sleeping on the couch because you are making it too uncomfortable for her to sleep on the bed, guess you can say you are already being difficult. I on the other hand, am sitting here in the bedroom thinking how much my life is going to change when you finally come into this world.  I’ve stated before that I started a new chapter in the book of life when I started to date your mother, but you little girl, are going to be a whole new book.  A book that I never thought I would have in my hands.

I sit here wondering what you are going to look like.  We’ve seen ultrasound pictures, but those are just pixels on a piece of paper.  Will you have my eyes?  Will you have your moms’ lips?  Hopefully you have her hair, although your mom has already said she hopes you don’t.

When your mother said she was pregnant, I knew that my life was no longer about me, it was about you.  People have told me that I am going to spoil you, and they’re probably right, but I’m also going to be hard on you.   I’m going to be hard on you because my job is to be your father, not your friend.  You won’t understand that for probably the first 20 years of your life, but you will.

You’re coming into this world with a mom who is going to love and care for you tremendously. I know this because she already does the same with your brother and sister.  Your mom is very chill…as long as you listen. So, my advice to you is to do what your told. Cause honestly, I don’t want to hear your mom yell.

As for the other people in the family, they will love you in their own way. I’m sure your brother and sister will pick on you just as I picked on your aunts.  And I know your grandparents are going to spoil the heck out of you and it’s going to upset me when I tell them no to something and they’ll do it anyways.  But that’s ok, it their job as grandparents.

As for me, your dad.  Well…  I’m going to cheer you on as you take your first steps. I’m going to cheer you on as you ride your bike for the first time without your training wheels.  I’m going to cheer you on when you get stage fright in the school play.  I’m going to cheer you on as you walk to get your diploma.

I’m going to support you when you do a goofy volcano for a science project. I’m going to support you when you choose what career you are going to go to college for. I’m going to support you when you tell me you are in love with your boyfriend…. or girlfriend.

I’m going to love you the moment our eyes meet in the delivery room.  I’m going to love you when you draw on the wall.  I’m going to love you when you don’t get an “A” in math. I’m going to love you when you tell me you hate me as you slam your bedroom door. I’m going to love you when you start to date a boy that I disapprove of.  I know all of this because I love you more than anything in the world right now and we haven’t even met.

Love,

Dad

WTF?

Well, there really isn’t much you can say about this stupid ass video.  First off, I used to be a Iggy Azalea fan when she was underground. But of course as it usually happens when artist go mainstream, their music starts to get too commercialized.  Second, whoever the parents are of these kids can eat a bowl of dicks. At what point in time while standing there during the taping of the video did they start to think, “Im so proud my kid is in a video that’s basically soft porn”. Third, Iggy already had an ass on her so why the hell did she have to go get butt implants/injections?  Shit just doesn’t look natural.

Oscars 2016

Not even 5 minutes in and already tired of hearing about this bullshit white oscar controversy.  I understand that there may be some who say that there are not enough black nominees.  That’s fine to have your views on that.  But to say that the Academy must nominate people of color, kind of puts the whole “not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character” thing out the window.  If studios stop green lighting stupid movies like this, 

and start releasing movies that show how good black (minority) actors can be, then perhaps the Acadamy would be more willing to nominate them.

Chris Rock is comedy. I like his take on the whole white oscar situation.  He’s right, not everything is racist and not everything is sexist.

Charlize Theron is so gorgeous.  She could walk out covered in dog shit and still look amazing.

I love Stacey Dash.  She is the kind of person who could give two shits on what you think of her and her views and I love it.  I can’t believe how old she was when she was in Clueless, she’s now actually 50 (or close to it). 64825

 

 

 

Priyanka Chopra…i’d suck a fart out of her ass. Not a fan on her voice though.

You know, the Oscars is three hours long. I think they could shave off an hour if they didn’t include the makeup, audio, storyboards, etc.

I’m still cracking up that Stallone was nominated for an Oscar and Michael B. Jordan wasn’t.  I mean, I understand it’s only for best supporting actor but come on.

Lady Gaga could sing over a trash compactor and make it sound amazing.  She has such a beautiful voice.

Finally Leo got his award.  Took a damn bear to get it.