1/23/15

Well, I had a job interview yesterday.  It was by far the hardest interview I have had.  I compared it to being in basic training and having the TI’s gang up on your during lunch, or as it is known in the Air Force, the Snake Pit.  The question’s weren’t very hard that they asked, but when a few of the interviewers  have put in 25+ years at this job, it’s kind of intimidating.  So, now i wait to see if it’s a go or not.  In the meantime, I’ll keep pushing out those applications.

I’ve stated before that I hate living in the Midwest.  I’ve lived here my entire life, with the exception of my time in the Air Force. For some reason though, I don’t consider it home. For me, the southwest is home.  People have asked me why I don’t just move there.  If it was only that easy.  My wifey has another year of school left for her bachelor’s, and I less than a year for my master’s.  Maybe, and that’s a BIG maybe, we’ll move on down there and give it a try for a year or two.  Of course, my main issue is family.  I know as soon as we were to get down there, someone here would get sick and we’d have to travel back.  My mother keeps wanting me to move to Missouri to be closer to her and my sister.  I’m like ma, that’s still the Midwest.

I did photography for a few years and miss it.  When i got hired on at CADS I sold all my equipment because being a supervisor and salary, I didn’t want to book a wedding or party then get called into work. My favorite part of photography was the editing and restoration of old pics. Here are a some of my pictures.   light2   1  h b d (3) IMG_3832 IMG_3871 mk 1-51 b3 d

img_0790 img_1250 img_8270 mama-yola-1 tony1before-and-after

111 1111

Yeah so, I sure do miss it.  I’d love to start up again, but two things are stopping me.  1) Photography is a very expensive job/hobby. 2) My wife says no.  lol  I understand where she is coming from though.  Camera’s, lighting, remotes, backdrops, website, props, extra lens’s and whatnot are not cheap.

Alright folks, back to these job apps.  And do me a favor, don’t steal my pics.

1/4/15

Mother Nature has a sense of humor. It was warm enough yesterday to not have to wear a winter coat, but then this crap. 7dayFULL I hate living in the Midwest with a passion.  I want to go back to TX but hell, even they are getting snow.  The bad thing about it snowing, just as it is now, is that people want to drive like fkn idiots.  There are three rules to remember when driving in snow. 1) Dont get hit. 2) Dont hit someone else. 3) Drive.  Some people want to drive like they are tip toeing into the kitchen at midnight.  I’m all for being safe of course, but damn if you don’t go you’re going to get stuck.

Stuart Scott passed away today.  I was never a fan of his really, but he was a good personality for ESPN. Glad that he was able to make it through the holidays for his daughters.

10891459_10152947488434326_7544235468520997051_nBack to this bullshit snow.  I look out of this Starbucks window thinking, why the fk am I here and not in the comfort of my bed? And of all the bullshit things I buy, why haven’t I bought a car starter?  It is nice though being here and not having anyone around me.  Just me, Venti pumpkin spice latte and Dido.

didobioI played Dido’s CD nonstop when I was overseas.  I remember my tent mate yelling at me to shut it off cause I played it so much.  This would be played in my tent and Outkast would be playing everywhere else.  At post..outkast.  On our way to Kuwait City..outkast.  Chowhall..Outkast.  They had a song, “Bombs Over Baghdad” that the Kuwait’s would dance to.  One of the Kuwait Officers heard me play it, reached in his shirt and pulled out a cross necklace.  He kept saying “SEE, I’M CHRISTMAS, I’M CHRISTMAS!”  I said you mean Christian.  “YES, CHRISTMAS!”  Okay then. lol

I go back to work tomorrow, after a 2 week vacation.  Honestly, I don’t want to go back. Not because of the kids, I love them and their craziness.  But because I don’t get paid shit really for all the stress we have.  I know, something is better than nothing but I could seriously go work at Aldi’s and bag groceries and make more than what I do now. I’m hoping to get a phone call tomorrow with some good news that will better this situation.

Break Free by Ruby Rose= beautiful song, check her out.

Let me ask a question.  In life, your main objective is to have kids and pass on that bloodline.  What if you can’t have kids?  Then what is the meaning to life?  You wake up, eat, shit, work, sleep, repeat.  You really don’t have a purpose anymore.  The bloodline stops with you.  If you were fortunate enough, your parents tried to raise you in a way in which you will be a great parent to your own kids and pass on traditions. I think about all the things I was able to give my parents, everything but a grandchild.  When my sister got pregnant at 15, I had some animosity toward her kid.  You mean to tell me God will give a kid to a 15 year old girl, but not two adults who have good jobs, are caring, and want kids?  I think that’s why my belief in God is so null.  I believe Jesus was a man who did walk this Earth. I don’t believe the miracle stuff though.  I’m just not buying the whole God created man and the universe shit.  Maybe it’s the fact that I had to go to a Catholic School and the shit was stuffed down my throat, that now I’m like eh.

Well folks I think its time for me to go.  There is a creepy dude sitting across the room staring at me like he wants my nuts.

1/2/15

Well, it’s 9:38am.  I wanted to be at the gym at 8am.  Now I know people usually do the gym thing right after new years, but as I stated in my last post, this is not a resolution.  I want to go because of my health.  I’m diabetic and my body has been feeling like shit.  Blurry vision, back pain from the military, dizziness, vertigo, stomach issues, yada yada yada.  So now I sit here an hour and thirty eight minutes after the target time. I could use that as an excuse and just say there is always tomorrow.  But, just like me being a cubs fan and saying wait till next year, tomorrow may not come.

Before I go, I was talking to my wifey the other night about how you look back at shit and wonder how things would have played out if you did things differently.  I was a very bad gambler.  We’re talking cash my paycheck on the boat and play till you have nothing left gambling.  I owe  a lot to my sister for letting me live with her and her husband, even if my “bedroom” was a couch on their basement.  I mean really, after the service and being a corrections officer, I didn’t have shit thanks to gambling.  Believe me that shit created a lot of arguments between me, friends and family.  When I worked at Center for Alcohol and Drug Services, the clients asked if i was a recovering addict like them.  Well, yes, to a point.  Gambling was my drug.  The same uneasiness you experienced when that pipe was getting lit and then the calm serenity after you took that breath, is what I felt when i pulled that lever on the slot machine.  It wasn’t until my dad called 1800 Bets Off that I stopped.  Believe me, it wasn’t by choice.  I had to go to meetings, I had to get my picture taken at each of the casinos and I was banned for life from all casinos in Iowa and IL.  So again, I look back and think goddamn had you put that money towards your bills and not the slot machine, you’d have damn near perfect credit.  O’well, like I’ve told my students, your eyes are on your face because you are supposed to look forward…

Off to the gym I go.