Tonight is the first preseason game for the Blackhawks. Normally, I’d be excited about this and call my dad and grandpa to see if they’re going to watch it, but not tonight. My dad and I decided not to go to the home opener, but rather watch it at his house, with my uncles, with my grandpa’s jersey on the chair he sat in. For the first time my dad will have to watch a game knowing he can’t call his dad to celebrate a win or pick him up to watch the game. Some of you may think that this is being over dramatic, but the Blackhawks were a bonding experience that was passed on through generations. Some may have memories of baking cookies with their grandma, or perhaps fishing with their grandpa, mine was celebrating a goal. As the Blackhawks take the puck past the blue line and slip the puck past the goalie, this celebration will be different, this celebration will be with tears.
It has been a little bit since i’ve written on here. I want to try to do it every other day, but for some reason or another I don’t have time. Along with my regular job, I now have a part time job. So between two jobs, school and my wife, my time is crazy.
When my uncle passed away a few years ago I made a little tribute movie about him for my family and put it on Youtube. For some reason I started to think about him today to the point i had tears in my eyes. I went to the youtube channel to watch the video and wouldn’t you know it, those ignorant fucks deleted it due to copyright terms. This copyright shit is a joke. Why would you want to block someone who was using your music where there would be no financial gains. I look at it as free advertisement. Anyways, I do have the video still on my home computer so i’ll just reupload it again. So, since I can’t watch the movie, I’ll just play my Santana cd which was most of the video soundtrack anyways.
It’s kind of weird how when you lose someone, they pop in your head at the most random of times. I wouldn’t say we were close as in we saw each other everyday, but we were family. He was an alcoholic since I was a kid and I remember when I was younger when he would hold me or come up to me and all you smelled was beer. I’d like to say he was a sober drunk. He was there for family, he went to work, he was there for his grandchildren, but goddamn it he just couldn’t put down the beer.
Perhaps that’s why I think about him more now than when he was alive…you always figure that that someone is just a call or small drive away. So while he laid in the hospital bed, unresponsive, you think of the woulda coulda shoulda’s in life. We shoulda got him help sooner, I coulda been a better nephew. But that’s all it is…woulda coulda shoulda.
On a change of subject, I’m going to two blackhawks games next weekend. One is in detroit,while the other is in Chicago. Talk about a hell of a drive just to see a hockey game. Today I’m going to give my dad his christmas present early. He already knows what it is, but owell lol