See you soon.

This last weekend has probably been one of the hardest times in my life.  My grandfather passed away about 2 days after being taken off of dialysis.  As the oldest grandchild, I think when it all happened, I was more worried about making sure my cousins and family were ok, rather then let my emotions get the best of me.  It was after all just a matter of time after they stopped dialysis.  Even though it was expected and you try to prepare yourself, it’s still heartbreaking.  I know some people lose them when they are young, but I’ve been blessed to have had mine through my adult years.  The first grandparent i lost was my mothers mom when i was about 19 or 20.  So now 18 years after losing my mothers mom,  I’ve lost my fathers dad. Seeing my dad at my grandpa’s bedside after he passed is an experience I do not ever want to feel again, only i know that I’ll have to go through it 4 more times.  My grandpa was awesome.  He talked shit, gave me the finger and told me he loved me all at the same time.  Today at work, I think the realization finally hit because I broke down.  I think about my dad the most. He was close to my grandpa like I am close to my dad.  He can no longer call him on the phone, or watch the Cubs or Blackhawks with him. That scares me the most. There will be a day that I wont be able to call my dad, celebrate a Hawks goal, or go golfing with him.  My grandpa hated going to the hospital for dialysis and for medical shit, so saying that I wish he was still here would be selfish on my part.  Death is inevitable and I understand that, just wish taking the lose would be easier.  Here is the picture slide show I did for the visitation.    

 

 

 

 

 

 

All Eyez On Me.

No spoilers please!  Um, how can you have a spoiler to a movie when you already know the story lol.

So we finally went to see All Eyez On Me and I’ll just say that it was good. On one hand, if you loved Pac, you’ll like the movie. On the other hand, if you loved Pac, you might not like the movie. Let me explain. I’ve been reading up on some reviews from critics and fans alike saying how the movie didn’t live up to the hype or how it wasn’t truthful.  This movie is not a autobiographical film, its just a story about Tupac life. For that reason, there are fictional characters and scenes in the movie that didn’t happen.

The casting wasn’t too bad.  maxresdefault Demetrius Shipp Jr really did look like Pac with the exception of one thing…his damn right eyelid lol. It drops down too much, but besides that one fault, he was perfect for it. Danai Gurira did an outstanding job portraying Afeni Shakur.  I seriously hopes that she get an award for her performance, and no, not a BET award.  One casting call that did piss me off was the casting of Dr Dre.  Whoever chose Harold House Moore is an idiot. Why they didn’t ask Corey Hawkins to play the part is beside me. Harold looked more like T.I. than Dre. I guess while were on the topic of casting, I also wish they would have used R. Marcus Taylor as Suge Knight instead of Dominic Santana.  Speaking of Dominic, there is one rapper that I would like to see him play is Big Pun. He looks just like him.

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Besides Rocky Horror Picture Show, this is the only other movie that i can recall being at where everyone was singing along with the movie.  There is one story that I wish they would have included in the move and that is the story of Janet Jackson wanting Pac to get a HIV test prior to their romance scene in Poetic Justice. 

This Sept., it will be 21 years since his passing.  For those of us who were teens or young adults in the 90s, he was our generations Elvis.  I remember begging my mom outside of Best Buy for her to buy me “Me Against The World” because the dick working wouldn’t sell me the tape because of the Parental Advisory sticker on it. She ended up giving in and I was hooked.  I think i played “Keep Ya Head Up” and “Dear Momma” till the tape wore out. 

With Tupac, his music is still relevant today.  You can take “Changes” and put it as a soundtrack to today’s events and you’d think Pac wrote it yesterday.  Some of the older generation may only see Pac by the negatives they’ve seen on TV.  But let’s look at the positives of a verse vs someone like Niki Minaj.

“I wonder why we take from our women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think its time to kill for our women. Time to heal our women, be real to our women.”- Tupac “You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe (yeah), you a, you a stupid hoe…”- Nicki Minaj

The positive thing about music is that no matter how long an artist has passed, we will always have Bowie, Tupac, Sinatra, Elvis, Selena, Whitney, etc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s talk about this thing called life.

When i was younger my dad was in a car accident while working that was pretty bad. His car flipped over a few times, flipped over some railroad tracks and landed wheels up.  Luckily he was just a little banged up and all I can really remember was seeing him with a neck brace on.  Being as young as I was, I didn’t understand the severity of what could have came from that accident.

In 2013 I saw first hand what alcohol can do to someone when my uncle passed away from cirrhosis. It sucked seeing someone who was such a strong person slowly deteriorate.

Around last year, one of my mom’s had a slight heart attack.  That was one of the first times in my life that I was truly scared about losing someone close to me.  Thankfully nothing serious came from it and now she is back to being her old grouchy self again lol.

Now lets fast forward to a few weeks ago.  My sister called me saying that my biological mom was in the hospital due to excessive bleeding. Side note, my mom has not been to a doctor/hospital in about 33 years.  Yes, 33 years is not a misprint.  Anyways, so my sister and some other family members convinced my mom to get a biopsy even though she is scared shitless of doctors.

Last week again my sister called me, and informed me that it was stage 2 uterine cancer.  Now a part of me was saying “fuck, it’s cancer”.  Then another part of me was saying “well it is uterine so an operation and chemo should kill it”.   But here is the thing.  My mom and stepdad do not really believe in pharmaceutical drugs and crap like that, they lean more towards the natural b.s..

So I just sat there thinking to myself. Is she going to take the advice from the doctors or is she going to just try some natural bs that probably wont work?  But as I sat there, now with tears in my eyes, I said, well who am I to judge.  She can do what she wants because it’s her life. I understand that some may find that disheartening, but if I was sick, I wouldn’t want people telling me what to do.

This I believe is where my sister and I are going to butt heads.  I have told my mother that i will support her in any decision that she makes. Mind you, ANY DECISION THAT SHE MAKES, not what my sister wants or what my stepdad wants.  My sister on the other hand wants my mother to do all she can to get healthy and I agree with her.  But you can’t force someone to go through chemo, or radiation, or take pills the rest of their life if they don’t want to. I feel it would be selfish of me to tell you what to do.

I did go to Missouri a few days ago to see my mom and sister.  I went not only because it had been a few years since i’ve seen my mom but also because i wanted to tell her to her face that I support whatever she does and that I love her.  I also went up there to try to convince her that my sister needs to be her power of attorney and not my stepdad.  Now this is NOT meant as a slap in the face to my stepdad.  He is a truck driver and it could take him up to 48 hours to get back home.   If something were to happen to my mom, I wouldn’t want them to try to get a hold of him and him not answer his phone or can’t come back right away.  Leaving my sister there helpless. I also wanted to try to get my mom to let us know what she wants done funeral wise. Unfortunately my mom thinks that we are trying to put her in her grave already and of course that is not the case. I just want everything in writing so my sister and my stepdad don’t end up fighting over her wishes if she tells him one thing and tells us another.

Because my sister lives in Missouri, just 40 minutes away from my mom, I give her total respect and love for taking on this responsibility of caring for our mom.  I could move up there and help her but i think that would do more harm than good. My sister has lived with my mom since she was born and knows how to deal with my mom, unlike myself who hasn’t lived with her since i was 7.  My mother is set in her ways and my sister is used to it, whereas I am not.

My mom has agreed to have the operation, but the chemo/radiation will be the big obstacle.  Now we just have to wait and see…

Stupid is as stupid does

If you work for a security company and walk around with a coat/jacket/shirt with a “badge” on it, you are just opening yourself up to getting your ass shot. Why? Because dumb mfkrs either can’t read the word security or they just look at the badge and automatically think you’re a police officer. Same goes for the dumb shit guy yesterday at the restaurant who wore his gun on the outside of his pants instead of concealing it. If im a bad guy, you’re the first one im taking out since i know you have a gun. Jesus people, smarten the fk up. Im saying this because this tool just walked into starbucks wearing a coat with a badge sown on it with other security patches on the arms. He walked in here like he was the shit and im just lookin at him like well at least they’ll shoot you first.

WTF?

Well, there really isn’t much you can say about this stupid ass video.  First off, I used to be a Iggy Azalea fan when she was underground. But of course as it usually happens when artist go mainstream, their music starts to get too commercialized.  Second, whoever the parents are of these kids can eat a bowl of dicks. At what point in time while standing there during the taping of the video did they start to think, “Im so proud my kid is in a video that’s basically soft porn”. Third, Iggy already had an ass on her so why the hell did she have to go get butt implants/injections?  Shit just doesn’t look natural.

2/16/16 Two things on my mind

1) Day without an Immigrant

Today, there was a scheduled protest called ‘Day without an Immigrant’. Supposedly hundreds of thousands of immigrants called in or no showed at their jobs to help bring awareness to how much they do for our country.

I believe that a majority of American’s will say without a doubt that immigrants play a huge part in our society.  Immigrants are who helped build this country and are the foundation to what this country is today.

I also believe though that American’s are tired of immigrants coming here illegally. We are a land of laws or so one would be led to believe. But when you come into a country illegally and only get a slap on the wrist and are allowed to stay on the tax payer dime, it’s a slap in the face to those of us who follow the laws.

To say that you are going to call into work or no show for your job just so you can participate in this protest is asinine. Honestly, if i was your supervisor and you told me you weren’t coming in so you could protest this crap, i’d do everything in my power to make sure you wouldn’t have to come in the next day either because you’d be fired.

The question that I’ve heard today is how can I be against immigrants when I am Mexican American?  Why should I be profiled against because certain people can’t follow the law and come here legally? Remember, one bad apple ruins the bunch.  I also find it funny and sad at the same time that these same people associate only my Mexican ethnicity with immigrants, when actually i’m also German and Irish… two of the greatest immigrant groups to come to the US.  Immigrants are not only those who cross our southern boarder.

So am I against  immigrants coming over here?  No, just as long as they go through the proper channels.

2) Facebook

Facebook has gone to shit.  Remember back in the beginning of Facebook when it was all about playing games with friends and connecting with family across the nation?  Now it’s nothing but political lies,people killing themselves or hurting others on Facebook Live, adding a “friend” just so you can unfollow them and not talk to them anyways. Of course those stupid “one like = one prayer” bullshit that people somehow fall for.

Facebook has turned people into zombies.  Like literally, they can’t think for themselves. Often i hear “oh i read it on Facebook” as if Facebook was a legitimate news source. In the fourth quarter of 2016, Facebook had 1.86 billion monthly active users. Wow, 1.86 billion zombies.

I guess you can say that I’m being a hypocrite since I use Facebook. Hell, I agree with you. But i think that it seriously time that I logoff. I have done it for a day or two and always came back but I think i need to enjoy life more and not worry what John Doe is posting.